Goodbye Old Friend: Nikon Coolpix

James got his chubby little fingers on my old camera last week and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. In fairness, it the lens hadn't been quite right for few years. However, with his 'adjustments' the camera kept using up its battery to open/close the lens.

On numerous occasions over recent years, friends have scoffed when I pulled my Nikon Coolpix from 2005, gaffing at just how old m bulk camera could be. I didn't replace it for so many reasons:

1. I liked its bulk. I could always find it in what ever bag I'd stashed it in.
2. The picture quality was excellent! 4.0 megapixels has always been plenty for my 4x6's. If I get wild and crazy and make a large print, it's only up to an 8x10. 

My husband and I both researched new cameras. If I wasn't going abroad, I would have stuck to an iphone, but that would require a 2 year contract to a cell phone company to get one I can afford and I'm not in a position to do so. (I currently have a Virgin-Mobile contract free phone.) I found the following websites most helpful:

www.productadvisor.com - you can search cars, cameras, and tvs by choosing your desired price, features, and prioritizing.

www.cnet.com - always a go-to site for techy reviews,you can get professional reviews as well as reviews from the community.

When it was all said and done, I ended up buying another Nikon Coolpix mainly because it came with CMOS and 14x wide zoom. The price was right with a big rebate at BJ's wholesale club. Plus there was major brand loyalty.

Once we put the new camera to the test, I will review.

Failed Passport Photo Attempts

Let me just say that I wish we had enough disposable income to hire an actual photographer with an actual studio and real editing software to do the passport photos. If you have the money, that's the way to go! However, we don't have the money and staying at home, I do have the time for trial and error. Let me share my experiences of error:

My first attempt was Walmart. Yes, Walmart. As with many things, it was just cheap and convenient, so I had to give it a go. But sometimes you get what you pay for. There are three ID photos at my local Walmart ready for me to pick up, but I won't be picking them up. I don't believe any of them meet regulation requirements. Pretty much, they would be great examples of what not to submit.

What happened was the guy who was working the photo desk told me he wasn't sure their success rate, as no one came back to let them know. Luckily, I was somewhat familiar with the guidelines having tried it myself. By the time we left, I can say he was a nice older guy who really wanted to help, but simply didn't know the rules or how to use a digital camera well.

To show James (19 months) how this worked, I had some myself first. I already have a passport but figured they may be good to have on hand for visas, or upcoming resident permits. When he showed me mine, I had glare on my glasses. I pointed this out and told him I'd take them off, but he acted like he didn't hear. He used the digital camera like there was precious film inside and didn't want to waste them by taking more than one shot.

James was next. He kept sticking his tongue out. The picture we got was good, he was natural, not smiling and facing the camera squarely, but his tongue was out. When I pointed this out, he again seemed not to hear. Again, just one photo was taken of James.

After I told him how to do Caterina's (lay her on the floor with a background behind) he didn't know what to do. He got some shiny photo paper to lay down. When I said that was too shiny, he got another kind of shiny photo paper. It didn't matter because the one photo he got of her, she was turning her head and crying.


My second attempt was CVS. This was a short experience because the photo kiosks were down. I wouldn't be able to print my own out myself (which costs $8.00 anyway!) Or have them do it for $7.99, I would have had to stand and wait for more than 20 minutes and come back another time to pick up the pictures. Returning wasn't a big deal, but waiting around and then expecting my darling babies to cooperate and not scream while they were being photographed was pushing it. Plus, I noticed the screen was at the front of the store where my son wouldn't be able to reisit smiling and saying "hi" to everyone who came in and "bye" to everyone who left. No thanks.

Believe it or not, these couple of trials wasted a couple of days when it was all said and done. I figured with the time wasted, I might as well give it a go myself again.

Applying for Passports with babies in Person

Doesn't that just sound like fun? Going to the post office when Mom and Dad are both available (so over Daddy's lunch break in our case) then standing in the 20+ person line and the 2 or 3 Postal Employees take everyone one at a time? Even better, getting sent home when it's your turn! And not because we did the paperwork wrong or forgot something.

If you go to the US Passport Application site, you can punch in your zipcode and it will give you a list of the closest application centers and their details. As it turns out, a lot of those details are incorrect.

We opted to meet at the large Post Office half way between our home and Chris' office for obvious reasons over his lunch break. For any minors applying for a passport, from what I understand, both parents have to apply in person with the minors. Both of the parents names have to be on the birth certificate or documentation provided.

I got the hours off the website, it said appointments preferred so I tried calling to make an appointment but no one answered and there was not voicemail. Oh well, preferred, right? It wasn't the only thing the website was wrong about, it turns out you can only pay with credit card at a few major centers.

So on our first day, I waited in line for 20 minutes. James ate his PBJ bit by bit and Caterina slept. I rocked the stroller back and forth so Caterina would continue to think we were moving and stay asleep. The guy in line behind me who was saving room for my double stroller was chastised by they guy behind him for not cramming together more, as if that would make the line go faster. Chris joined us and waited another 10 or 15 minutes until it was our turn.

We went to the booth, documents and applications in hand saying we were there to apply for passports. Rather than apologizing or delivering the news sweetly, the postal employee was apparently dumbfounded that we didn't have an appointment. We had to make one the next day, again over lunch hour, but later. Definitely nap time. Buh-bye.

We went through the whole ordeal the next day, except Caterina was awake and needed to be rocked and fed. At least the postal employee who "helped us" left to take her lunch break and we got a much nicer person. Not only did she apologize for all of the misinformation (and she asked us about it, we didn't complain to her!) but she complimented our baby passport photos. After the trials and errors, it was music to my ears. (Yea ePassportPhotos.com!)

$210 later, I don't want to calculate the actual time cost, it's all over and hopefully the next thing I'll have to report about our children's passports is their arrival! We expect them in 4 weeks.

ePassportPhoto.com Review

Taking our own baby passport pics

I was a bit skeptical of epassport.com for a number of reasons, but mostly because their prices aren't up front. To me, they lead on as though they are a free service, but as it turns out, they cost $7.99 for two passport photos, just like the cheaper chain options. It seemed to me that it was like taking your passport pictures yourself, but paying for them to double check.

In summary, I would recommend ePassortPhoto.com. Here's why:

The cost is the same as the cheapest photo service, even at the big chains: Currently $7.99 for the first, then 20% off the second. You can have them sent to you, or pay for the same day pick up option, as I did, and end up paying for a 4x6 and tax. My total was $.41 for the two.

Don't think they'd take this one...

It is very reassuring knowing that after all the struggle to get baby passport pictures, there is a 99%+ chance they will be approved.


It was very easy. Not that photo kiosks or online photo services are that difficult, but for some reason a task that ought to take a minute or two always takes 15 minutes and is frustrating because something always goes wrong, especially at the in store kiosks. For an average 4x6, no biggie, but for official passport/visa photos, everything has to be regulation so you do have to keep at it until it is just perfect.

The "studio"

This is how it worked for me:

1. After failed attempts at a couple chain locations, and determined not to spend the fees of a professional photographer, I went onto www.epassportphoto.com.
2. Based on theirs and suggestions of many websites, I bought a piece of plain, non-shiny white tag board.  In our brightest artificially lit room, I taped the tag board to the wall so it was the right height for James (19 months.) My husband and I practiced showing him how to stand and look at the camera without smiling. We snapped tons of pictures and caught a couple decent ones. Unfortunately our best had a huge shadow (it was before we'd figured out the best lighting.)
3. I uploaded it to their facebook page, where an expert confirmed there was too much shadow. As a side note, depending on your facebook settings, all of your friends can see and comment on this picture. If you haven't dropped the "we may be moving abroad" bomb to your loved ones, this could blow you cover. My mother's 60-something year old bestie saw it and told my mother.
4. I toyed with the lighting and shadows on my scrapbooking/digital photo organizing software (Creative Memories Memory Manager) and did my best corrections.
5. The doctored photo was uploaded to ePassportPhoto.com and I dragged their box over the picture to confirm the size was to regulation. 
6. When I got to the final page, I saw how much the cost was for the first time, but went for it anyway. 
7. I chose to pick it up from the store because I didn't want to wait for the 5-10 shipping.

Upon getting the discount, I decided to use ePassportPhoto.com for Caterina's picture, too. I mean, it wasn't going to be cheaper anywhere else and if she had bouts of the newborn wailing, at least it would just be in my home. For Caterina (1 month,) I:

That was easy!

1. Laid the tagboard over a thick baby blanket on the bed so it wouldn't wrinkle/crease. She laid in the middle.
2. She actually cooperated and I got several really cute shots that were good with lighting and shadows. The best photo was uploaded to ePassportPhoto.com and I dragged their box over the picture to confirm the size was to regulation.
   When I got to the final page, I saw how much the cost was for the first time, but went for it anyway. 
3. Again, chose to pick it up from the store because I didn't want to wait for the 5-10 shipping.

 See how much easier it is when the baby cooperates?

I got emails confirming the orders, then confirming that the pictures were "resolved" which apparently means, ready. Or as it turns out, it took 2 days. The store was having issues with their machine, but no big deal - it wasn't the website's fault, but it would be nice if they would have waited to "resolve" the order, it would have saved me a trip.

That wasn't as easy

Passport Pictures for Babies - where to go

It is time to get our paperwork in order so that if an opportunity does come up, we can jump on it. We don't have passports for the babies yet. We had started down that path once with James so that we could visit Toronto, the closest largest city near Rochester, NY, but Grandma and Grandpa ended up baby sitting for a night instead.

At that time, I attempted to take James' picture on my own. We have plain white walls in our apartment and I sat him up in a bumbo seat.  I could not get the photo to regulation standards. If I could get him facing forward, there was a shadow or a bump on the wall, or he would lean toward me... The State Department also suggested putting a white sheet on the car seat, that was a disaster and full of wrinkles and shadows. So, I decided to pay for some professional help. When I called around, it turned out that very few places will do toddler and baby photos.

This morning, I brought Caterina in for her "newborn" portraits at JC Penney. They will do adult passport photos, but not little ones, as is the case for many passport photo services. When calling around, no one said they did baby photos. However, I walked into my local CVS and they did his by laying him down on tagboard. I was impressed by the woman's knowledge of regulations. I plan to take my kids back there this week so we can apply for passports this weekend.

I will try again to look for suggestions online so we can do our own, but if I fail, the following are local options according to phone calls I've made today. I would imagine it's similar nationwide, as these places are all chains:
-Walmart
-CVS
-Walgreens
-FedEx
-UPS
-http://www.epassportphoto.com/ (free online service, but not terribly different than just doing it yourself.)


Here is the passport requirements page from the US Department of state: http://travel.state.gov/passport/pptphotoreq/pptphotoreq_5333.html.

Storage vs. Repurchasing

I am not a hoarder. I really hate clutter, yet somehow we have so much stuff! We don't like to shop, we aren't people who have to have every new toy... but here we swim. There is no way I would consider shipping our belongings abroad for a couple of years, we'd spend 25% of the time waiting and it's just too expensive for us.

I got a bit gung ho on cleaning out, having a moving sale, craigslis-ing and then donating. I really didn't want to consider an additional fixed cost at home. A few quick online quotes showed me a storage unit would cost between $150-$200 a month for 10' storage units (said to fit about a 2 bedroom's apartment worth of stuff.)

We technically rent a two bedroom apartment now, but it has a basement and an attic. It's actually half of a sizable Victorian home. In fairness, we previously owned a small home and came with a decent amount of stuff. That being said, I could happily part ways with most of it, but when my parents sold their home a year ago, I inherited a lot of sentimental items that I would have a hard time parting with. My grandmother's kitchen table where I have some of my earliest memories, the bench my grandfather for my mother as he recovered from a stroke, and my other grandmother's China - none of these have much monetary value today, but mean a lot to me.We live far from family and friends, so we can't bug anyone to "borrow" half of their basement for a few years.

My husband is the one I have to thank for crunching some numbers. To just buy mattresses, a couch, table, and a few other necessities when we return, we will pretty much clear the cost of the rental unit the first year. Whew, so I'm off the hook for now. It pays to get the unit, store our big ticket necessities, plus I can pack in my sentimental and maybe some indulgences like framed artwork, albums, and maybe some of my favorite kitchen appliances. Yes, I do have a Belgium waffle cooker that takes up way too much space and is only used a couple of weekend a month, but it is so worth the space! Mmmm...

Luckier yet, I got quotes from companies who deliver storage units to you, like PODS, and found that they are quite comparable to the public storage options. Whoohoo! Now we don't even have to rent a uhaul, we can load it up at our leisure right outside our door!

The 7-Year Sabbatical Plan

We have begun floating our notion of living and working abroad to a few friends and even a few family members. The the response is overwhelmingly supportive (though most of the friends I've been talking to are expats or former expats, so the scale's weighted.) Even if the time abroad doesn't turn out to be a great money making venture, I'm already looking forward to the challenge and the exposure to language and culture for the babies. Dropping off my car for a $1,000+ repair this morning, I am looking forward to not owning a vehicle.What I really look forward to is an Ayi (housekeeper/maid.) My list is growing...

With all of these pros, an underlying factor of motivation is tied to the idea of the seven year sabbatical. I suggest watching this 20 minute Ted Talk by Stefan Sagmeister about it, but I will try to give it a just summary:

Rather than plan on a 15 year retirement, take 5 of those years and intersperse them during your working years. Of course, you have to plan and budget to do this, and certainly you cannot do this in every profession or for every employer. However, as so few of us from my generation will be working for the same employer in the same job as perhaps our parents did, we pretty much plan to job hunt every 5 to 7 years anyway. I'd like to enjoy that time not having to worry about vacation days and everything else. In addition, it gives us these perfect windows to show our children something else.

We cannot, unfortunately, afford to just take the time off and enjoy ourselves, as Stefan suggests. Like many people our age, we some fixed expenses as debts to pay. Stefan argues that the time off pays for itself when returning to work in a number of ways. I believe this, but simply am unable to budget time off not working. Rather, I think the 7-Year Sabbatical Plan can easily be adjusted for our needs. We will just have to work, but why not do it some place completely different, rent instead of buy... we can always buy that house in the next chapter of our lives.

For people in industries like my husband, he can't just take time off to learn another language and experience another culture and have that look good on his resume, but he has to stay in tune with the ever-developing solar technology industry. But who says you have to do that in the Silicone Valley? Finding him a fitting job is proving more challenging, but with some effort, we're hoping to make it work. I coin this the hunt for a good "sabbatical job."

For those who can't manage to make the leap abroad, I would think about looking at "sabbatical jobs" some place different in the same line of work. In education or medicine? Maybe look at some rural postings in Wyoming or Alaska? Or afraid of the cost of living in NYC, Boston, or DC? Just go for a year, the damage won't be so bad in the short term and you may find some employers pay just enough more to make it work. Who knows, we may end up in the same boat depending on how the hunt goes!

Au Pair

If we are not able to swing relocation abroad, this is one of the options to "globalize" our home stateside. I found it difficult to afford quality for daycare with just one child, but realize I am one of those moms who will basically go bonkers at home. Like most families, we need to find a quality childcare solution that I can cover with my salary, none of this paying to work business. Under the same J-1 visa program that handles the high school exchange programs I deal with (http://www.ciee.org/highschool/host-families/benefits.html) they also handle Au Pair visas.

What is an Au Pair?

An au pair is basically a foreigner, usually a young woman on a gap year these days, who comes to live with a host family and helps them domestically, mainly childcare. When I was in Europe where many people take gap year, a lot of my classmates had either done this in England or France, or were considering doing so before going to college. 

I will publish a separate comparison of the nitty gritty financials, but we've found the total cost of an Au Pair comes in lower than a M-F daycare for 2+ kids. For those with larger families, Au Pairs are especially nice on the pocket book, there aren't extra fees for additional kids. In general, there is a fee for the program who sponsors the Au Pairs visas and monitors them while they are here, recruits them, finds families, etc, and the family is also responsible for room and board, a weekly stipend, an educational stipend, and any extra expenses to make them feel like part of the family (i.e. don't all go out to dinner/movie then make them cover their own meal and ticket.)

So financially, it adds up to look a bit insane. However, so did daycare! Welcome to parenthood, I guess. And we live in just a medium city with very reasonable rates. Oh, how I envy those with grandma and grandpa down the road who are more than happy to watch the kids for free...

It goes without saying that the benefits of Au Pairs are not only financial, but you and your kids get to learn a lot about another corner of the world. We know how fast little ones pick things up, so I would love to find the right person through the right program.

How to find the right program?

The US Department of State currently recognizes 14 programs who sponsor Au Pair visas in the US. I simply went to the website and contacted all 14 of them. The feedback was very insightful. I gave the same information to each company and got many different responses. Some agencies only operate in certain parts of the country. Others were willing to operate here, but needed to find/train local representatives to have two supervisors nearby, which is very doable, just like high school exchanges.

This is the link to the designated Au Pair sponsors:
http://j1visa.state.gov/participants/how-to-apply/sponsor-search/?program=Au%20Pair&state=any

Here is a template of an inquiry like the one I sent. (Phone numbers and websites are also provided.)

***

Subject: Potential New Family

Hello,

 

I am looking into hosting an Au Pair and found your organization listed on the State Department website. I'm looking for basic information such as costs and what services your organization provides. I've looked over your website for general information, but would like to get specifics and meet with someone from your organization before moving forward. 

We would be interested in hosting later this winter when our children will be 2 years and 6 months.

 

Thanks for your time and help,

 

Jamie 

(Full Address) 

***

Some organizations didn't respond at all, some sent materials that made it clear they hadn't ready my two short paragraphs, and some were wonderful, personal responses which indicate to me that they are doing their jobs well.

Prompt, personal feedback is important. This organization will be responsible for screening your family as well as the person who will be helping watch after your children. They will provide support (logistics like arrival and departures, training) but very importantly will be your support if there are issues throughout the year. 

• What if you and your au pair just aren't a good match? 
• What if your au pair has a travel question and wants to know about his/her visa rules? 
• What if there are some cultural issues you want to know how to approach?

 The following were my top picks and I likely be choosing one of these organizations should we end up staying in the US:

• Expert AuPair
• A.P.E.X. Pro Au Pair
• Au Pair Foundation
• The International Au Pair Exchange

Hiatus to have a Baby

Took a long hiatus there to have a healthy baby girl this summer. She is now one month old and we are moving ahead with our plans. For some time it was looking like we may stay in the US for an opportunity at a nice government job, which is hard to come by. Too hard, as it turns out, it doesn't look like the transition would be as easy and seamless as hoped. As long as we have to undergo a job hunt, we are focusing efforts abroad again.

China is looking most appealing to us for many reasons including the economy, politics, and the payback time invested there could payback not only into our careers, but for our children. With the money our government owes theirs, our thinking is that China probably will not be obsolete in their lifetimes.

I studied abroad in Kunming, China in 2004 and would be interested in returning to the Yunnan Province if not only because of the nature it offers. Among many of our concerns about living in China with small children relate to the pollution and health. Beijing, though it may make sense to live there if we wish to return to DC in the future, disgusted me in 2004 due to the smog and China hasn't stopped growing since.

Our next step is to ask friends and acquaintances who have had recent experience there for thoughts and tips as we weigh this option. I will also be crunching numbers to figure out what our salary would have to be to make it feasible. Will we store our belongings here for a while? Just a few, or a house full? What to do with our lease? Once I have a fairly accurate figure, we can see if there are jobs available that cover our fixed expenses at home and expenses we'll incur living abroad. 

Short-term Employment Decisions

Unlike my first pregnancy, when I had been working a more traditional job for several years and had maternity coverage, I'm already home with 15-month old James. I do work part-time from home, grading standardized tests from my home office, but not many hours and it's not nearly the same socially as when I worked at the downtown campus of a large community college in the city teaching immigrants and refugees.

After being home, I'm already getting a bit stir crazy and am strongly weighing the pros and cons of teaching my class again next fall. It runs three mornings a week, but involves additional hours lesson planning and grading. As much as I love working with the refugee population, it also involves a lot of extra personal time helping with other issues that students are facing outside of class.

Since class begins just six or seven weeks after our Baby Girl is expected, I'm not sure if I'd be able to leave her that soon, even if it is just for a few hours. Last semester, I paid for 3 days of daycare a week, so I had plenty of time to correct, lesson plan etc, but with two babies, I would only be able to afford to pay a sitter hourly during the part of the day I'd be at the college.

The other thing that concerns me would be that the semester runs a couple weeks longer than my husband's contract and a bit more longer than our lease. My family would like to enjoy a few weeks off between the end of this employment and our next when we don't need to worry about vacation days, etc, so I would hate to keep us here longer just for my teaching job that doesn't necessarily gross us much more income. It could end up being costly to extend our lease on the apartment.

All-in-all , it doesn't seem to be worth the extra work and stress for the bit of income I'd earn after daycare. Plus, it would be nice to be available to organize our move while trying to keep the house in order with the two babies and not have to worry about the job/students' issues, but I know I'd also miss it greatly if I did have time to keep my ducks in a row at home.

Problems with Pets

Little Bear

Miss Kitty and Little Bear

Our family has pets. My husband and I are dog people. We no longer have a dog, but currently have two cats. We had to re-home our dog, which was something I still can't believe we'd ever have to do. However, he was a rescue who initially was terrified of everyone and everything. He warmed up to be a wonderful companion, but never warmed up to kids. As James grew bigger and more mobile, it became clear that the dog wasn't comfortable, so although he never hurt the baby, we thought it would be best to find him a kid-free home, just in case. It turns out we found a wonderful home and he's living the life, even better, than the one he had with us before James' arrival.

We owned a home in Delaware, where we knew we'd be in graduate school for at least five years. We bought an affordable place with a fenced in yard, very convenient to city walking paths and a state park for hiking. However, we always knew a move was forthcoming, possibly abroad so we didn't want to commit to dog ownership.

Tiger, our first cat

We did break down and pick up a cat from the pound - we needed a mouser. Within another couple of years, we found that fostering dogs fit our lifestyle and served as a foster family for A Buddy For Life. Only twice did we have a hard time passing the dogs off, which I was afraid of. We loved a lot of great dogs, but it was surprisingly easy to hand them off when we saw the great families who were adopting them. We just couldn't let Little Bear go, though. He had come such a long was and really worked his way into our hearts. We also rescued another kitten and within five years were dog and cat owners. We are animal lovers, we couldn't help it.

James walking Little Bear

Fostering prepared us in a way to re-home our Little Bear though. After all, it was supposed to be like that from the beginning. He was great about it, as was his new adopted family. My husband and I had the hardest time of it. I still do. I still can't get him out of my thoughts, dreams and often look for him walking on popular city paths where I think he may be walked. Even worse, I've made the mistake of finally reading The Art of Racing in the Rain. Oh, it's so hard, but was best for everyone - especially Little Bear and James.

Now, we have two cats who we are responsible for. I cannot imagine that we would feel the need to pay to fly them abroad, let alone put them through flying, customs and quarantines. Our dog may have been another story, but when it comes down to the cats, we'll likely beg our families to take custody for a few years or maybe even re-home them as well, if we must. It's a very hard decision to make, and I honestly used to look down on people who did not keep their pets for life, but having lived through it as a foster family then devoted pet owner, it is actually much easier when you meet that wonderful person or family who you know will give them a great home.

Mother's Day

I found this week's episode of Rick Steves podcast both touching and inspiring, especially the first half. He begins with a tribute to his mother, who passed away this winter, thanking her for planting the travel seed in him. Following is an interview with Jennifer Wilson, who wrote Running Away to Home: Our Family's Journey to Croatia in Search of Who We Are, Where We Came From, and What Really Matters. I greatly look forward to reading (on my new e-reader, my awesome unexpected Mother's Day gift!)

Regardless of if we are able to move abroad at this point in our lives, planting the seed is certainly something that I hope to accomplish. Jennifer Wilson and her family took a break when her children were 4 and 7. If our kids end up being educated in the US, I do dream of taking a break when they are about middle school age and "home schooling" them on the road for a while, when they are an impressionable age. Rick Steves mentioned his first trip with his mother was when he was 14. I feel lucky that our son will be older than our daughter since, sorry boys, girls tend to be more mature at an earlier age.

My thinking is generally that James and our baby girl will learn the social things and become as prepared for middle and high school as elementary school does, but that a year seeing the world at that impressionable time would be very eye opening. Plus, it would hopefully be at a time when they are still young enough to be under our wing somewhat, but will be exercising independent thinking. When they return to their education, we can keep the option open for a more independent experience as a high school study abroad student, if they are interested.

I know many people baulk at the cost of such things, but I like how Jennifer Wilson talked about prioritizing family expenses in the interview mentioned above. Maybe I should mention, that I have been inspired by the '7-year sabbatical movement.' I have little faith that people of my generation will be getting social security, so I plan on working as long as I'm physically capable. But, I would like to take breaks at least every decade to enjoy, especially since that's about how often people of my generation are expected to change jobs, since working for the same company for life seems to be a thing of the past.

Ah, so many ways to actively/experientially inspire little ones to be global citizens - now if we can only nail down our more immediate shorter term plans!

Stay at Home Struggle

In the recent weeks, I have been a stay at home Mom. It's been pretty hard for me. Last fall semester, I had one of the best jobs I could imagine. I was teaching 3 half-days a week - mainly academic writing skills to immigrants and refugees who were starting their collegiate paths at Monroe County's Community College. It was devastating to me when the class didn't fill for spring semester. I tried to make it work, tutoring for their academic services part-time, but the hourly pay made it hard justify keeping our son James in daycare.

It's kind of ironic, I hadn't wanted to put James into daycare to begin with - I had hoped to find an evening or weekend program to teach for so that we wouldn't have to incur daycare expenses. But when the opportunity to teach the fall semester class came up, I couldn't turn it down. As it turned out, James LOVED daycare. So, when the class didn't run this spring, I was disappointed on two levels. Not only did I loose my dream job, but I was so sad to take James out of the class he loved.

So, I had to make the decision to take James out of daycare and quit work. We took advantage of the "time off" and visited my parents in Arizona for a spell, but since then we've been at home and I've been trying to keep James busy, happy and socialized, all those things he was getting at daycare. In Rochester, we are lucky to have the Strong Museum of Play, where James and I visit every week at least. I have also joined "Mommy Groups" and attend story time events at libraries, etc. While I do love spending time with my son, now 15 months old, I really miss working. Of course, being in my 3rd trimester with the baby girl doesn't help my energy level, trying to keep up with a very spirited little guy.

I meet several other moms who are so happy to have the privilege to be able to stay at home and spend time with their babies. I feel lucky too, but it's not so much that we can "afford" for me to stay home, but that it just didn't make sense to break even paying for daycare, especially with the upcoming cost of paying for two. As a teacher, we would have to pay for all of the breaks, including summer, in order to hold James' spot in daycare, even when I'm not getting paid to teach. So while I do love spending time with James, I really miss spending time at work also.

When people talk about the work-home balance, I feel like my life isn't balanced because work is missing. I will blog more about childcare options in the future, but wanted to briefly mention the options that we are looking at moving forward. I plan on being home until we move. I do have a part-time grading gig that I do from home a couple evenings and weekends. After we move, I do hope to find a job that has evening or weekend hours, which is feasible teaching working adults. However, I am open to a more 9-5 position and daycare arrangements. Since quality traditional daycare is so expensive in the US, we will likely arrange for an au pair, which is actually more affordable than paying for two children's daycare. Abroad, I understand that many places quality childcare is more available and affordable, but not everywhere. It really depends on where we land. This will be a big piece of the research when we look at opportunities various places around the world.

Intro to Obstacles

So why not just go? Why not just do it? There are a couple of main obstacles. First, there are financial concerns. Secondly, family.

Chris and I had opposite experiences paying for college. While he was able to walk away debt free thanks to the "parent plan," I have educational debt from my undergraduate degree. It's kind of like I bought a Lincoln car, but don't actually have one. Though I could refinance, I have to budget at least $500 each month for repayment. Although I could get a reasonable salary considering the cost of living many places, this is a significant burden to cover each month in US Dollars.

James flies to visit grandparents at 14 months

Another financial concern of ours is that many places we are attracted to have a high cost of living. While we may have been able to save by getting by with a studio or one bedroom in less desirable neighborhoods in our early 20's, we'll have to be pickier with a family of four with young children.

Another family of four cost to consider is the price of flying. We would plan on coming home once a year to see family and friends. While many airlines let you fly with an infant in arms until babies reach 2-years old, my experience with my big guy at six months was that he spilled into the passengers next to me. When we flew again at 14 months, he got his own seat at it was worth it! With two adults and two little ones, we figure we'll have to spring for at least 3 seats, if not four as the babies grow. Depending where we end up in the world, that could be a considerable expense, especially if we're flying over holidays.

And it should go without saying that it is hard enough for us to be away from friends and family, but it will be especially hard for the little ones and grandparents. On the other hand, our families and friends are spread out across the country (and beyond) so there is some amount we would have to budget for even if we did stay within the country.

Inspirations Past and Present

In future posts I will discuss inspirations in great detail, but wanted to introduce some of them at this time. My firsts experiences abroad were with my parents at timeshare resorts in Mexico. I later returned to Mexico through a mission trip as a high school student and saw another side to the country volunteering to build houses in the Yucatan.

Cuernavaca, Mexico

I was fortunate to receive a Congress-Bundestag Scholarship to spend my senior year of high school in Germany. It significantly altered my world view and goals. I like life abroad and wanted to experience more of the world. I attended Augsburg College in Minneapolis, Minnesota because of their Center for Global Education. Before earning my undergraduate degree in International Journalism and Peace and Global Studies, I participated in CGE programs in Namibia and Mexico. I also spent a semester in the Yunnan Province of China through SIT and finished with an experiential semester in Washington DC.

After working and meeting my husband in Washington, DC after graduation, we moved to Delaware for graduate school rather than China, as we were planning. In order to stay tried into the international community, I found a community role as a Local Coordinator through CIEE. There, I was able to work with high school exchange students who came for the semester or year in Delaware and meet like-minded families who were kind enough to open their hearts and homes.

Since relocation to Rochester, NY, I found serving as a local coordinator was difficult with no family, friend and a brand new, small professional network - not to mention I had far less time with a brand new baby! I still miss it, but feel it is not right to commit since we will be moving again in a half a year. Now, I rely on friends abroad, as well as some favorite planning websites and podcasts. A couple of my favorite travel podcasts include Amateur Traveler and Indie Travel. The most notable website is Briefcase to Backpack.

This is just a little overview of some of my inspirations, past and present. 

Moving Timeline

Our current home in Rochester, New York. Taken December 2010 a month before James was born.

We have lived in Rochester, NY since December 2010. We moved here from Delaware because my husband had a great postdoc opportunity through Rochester Institute of Technology. We were very attracted to the region, just on the north of the Finger Lakes Region, for a number of reasons. Mainly the job, but Rochester is a very diverse city, the 3rd biggest of New York, where people are very friendly.  The country and smaller towns in the region are wonderful. I find it's a big regrettable that we haven't been able to do more camping and hiking, (I've been pregnant 1/2 the time we've lived here, plus we had a little one.)

Rochester, NY is also incredibly affordable for families. While many places are hurting in this economy, Rochester seems to actually have a fair amount of good job growth, despite the current plight of the local Eastman Kodak company. Taxes are steep, but Monroe County provides a great number of services. A native Minnesotan, I still can't get over the fact that the city plows the sidewalks, even in residential neighborhoods like ours! On the flip side of high taxes are very affordable home prices. The one that we are renting might go for $250,000 to $300,000 today - and our neighborhood is full of these Victorian Era mansions. We really love the city, local culture and the charm.

When we moved here a year and a half ago, my husband signed a 2-year employment contract that could be extended for a third year. We signed a 2-year lease on the house, but have a 3-year lease on our car. We rent half the house, two bedrooms in the back, so it's going to be a bit crowded with a family of 4 (and all the baby stuff.) While it's not totally out of the question, it looks like we will be moving and finding new jobs early this winter - either in late November around the Thanksgiving holiday, or in early December 2012.

That gives us just over 200 days to figure out what to do next, network, apply, and make all of the arrangements!

Where we are today and how we got here (the short story)

James is born, January 2011

After meeting in Washington, DC where we both had our first jobs after undergraduate school, my husband and I were getting paperwork in order to Teach English as a Foreign Language in China. Before meeting, we’d both had experiences abroad. My husband had studied in Australia. I had studied in Germany, Namibia, Mexico and China. We were eager to live in China long enough to learn language and acclimate somewhat. My semester-long experienced had proved far too short. We were preparing for at least two or three years in China.

We ended up in Delaware, instead. My husband completed a Ph.D. in renewable energy technologies (solar) and I worked at the University and earned a Master’s degree in Teaching English as a Second Language. We thought we were set to live and work anywhere. Our next move brought us to upstate New York for a 2 year position that ends early this winter. Somehow our moves never turn out to be as exotic as our dreams.

Our son was born in January 2011. We are expecting a little girl this summer, July 2012. With my husband’s contract ending, we will be moving with two babies under 2-years old this winter. It’s just that at this point, we have no idea where in the world we will all be moving.

Commencement

At this blog’s commencement, it may be easiest to state what this blog is not.  This is not a family/friends update blog. Rather, I am hoping to draw together a community of like minded individuals (who may also be addicted to travel and/or have ants in their pants too) who have similar dreams for their own future, or their family's future.

As our family grows, (we have a 15 month old son and are expecting a little girl in July, ) we weigh career options and examine our goals, which include raising multilingual children with broad experiences, we will look at options abroad, in Washington DC (our city-crush) and more affordable middle of the road destinations.

Since this really just beginning, it is possible that this blog will morph into how a person like me (a mom with ants in her pants) deals with the yearn to travel, but fiscal and family constraints and tries to instill values and perspectives from a more average domestic location. But my current hope is that the blog journals an exciting journey abroad!