Short-term Employment Decisions

Unlike my first pregnancy, when I had been working a more traditional job for several years and had maternity coverage, I'm already home with 15-month old James. I do work part-time from home, grading standardized tests from my home office, but not many hours and it's not nearly the same socially as when I worked at the downtown campus of a large community college in the city teaching immigrants and refugees.

After being home, I'm already getting a bit stir crazy and am strongly weighing the pros and cons of teaching my class again next fall. It runs three mornings a week, but involves additional hours lesson planning and grading. As much as I love working with the refugee population, it also involves a lot of extra personal time helping with other issues that students are facing outside of class.

Since class begins just six or seven weeks after our Baby Girl is expected, I'm not sure if I'd be able to leave her that soon, even if it is just for a few hours. Last semester, I paid for 3 days of daycare a week, so I had plenty of time to correct, lesson plan etc, but with two babies, I would only be able to afford to pay a sitter hourly during the part of the day I'd be at the college.

The other thing that concerns me would be that the semester runs a couple weeks longer than my husband's contract and a bit more longer than our lease. My family would like to enjoy a few weeks off between the end of this employment and our next when we don't need to worry about vacation days, etc, so I would hate to keep us here longer just for my teaching job that doesn't necessarily gross us much more income. It could end up being costly to extend our lease on the apartment.

All-in-all , it doesn't seem to be worth the extra work and stress for the bit of income I'd earn after daycare. Plus, it would be nice to be available to organize our move while trying to keep the house in order with the two babies and not have to worry about the job/students' issues, but I know I'd also miss it greatly if I did have time to keep my ducks in a row at home.

Problems with Pets

Little Bear

Miss Kitty and Little Bear

Our family has pets. My husband and I are dog people. We no longer have a dog, but currently have two cats. We had to re-home our dog, which was something I still can't believe we'd ever have to do. However, he was a rescue who initially was terrified of everyone and everything. He warmed up to be a wonderful companion, but never warmed up to kids. As James grew bigger and more mobile, it became clear that the dog wasn't comfortable, so although he never hurt the baby, we thought it would be best to find him a kid-free home, just in case. It turns out we found a wonderful home and he's living the life, even better, than the one he had with us before James' arrival.

We owned a home in Delaware, where we knew we'd be in graduate school for at least five years. We bought an affordable place with a fenced in yard, very convenient to city walking paths and a state park for hiking. However, we always knew a move was forthcoming, possibly abroad so we didn't want to commit to dog ownership.

Tiger, our first cat

We did break down and pick up a cat from the pound - we needed a mouser. Within another couple of years, we found that fostering dogs fit our lifestyle and served as a foster family for A Buddy For Life. Only twice did we have a hard time passing the dogs off, which I was afraid of. We loved a lot of great dogs, but it was surprisingly easy to hand them off when we saw the great families who were adopting them. We just couldn't let Little Bear go, though. He had come such a long was and really worked his way into our hearts. We also rescued another kitten and within five years were dog and cat owners. We are animal lovers, we couldn't help it.

James walking Little Bear

Fostering prepared us in a way to re-home our Little Bear though. After all, it was supposed to be like that from the beginning. He was great about it, as was his new adopted family. My husband and I had the hardest time of it. I still do. I still can't get him out of my thoughts, dreams and often look for him walking on popular city paths where I think he may be walked. Even worse, I've made the mistake of finally reading The Art of Racing in the Rain. Oh, it's so hard, but was best for everyone - especially Little Bear and James.

Now, we have two cats who we are responsible for. I cannot imagine that we would feel the need to pay to fly them abroad, let alone put them through flying, customs and quarantines. Our dog may have been another story, but when it comes down to the cats, we'll likely beg our families to take custody for a few years or maybe even re-home them as well, if we must. It's a very hard decision to make, and I honestly used to look down on people who did not keep their pets for life, but having lived through it as a foster family then devoted pet owner, it is actually much easier when you meet that wonderful person or family who you know will give them a great home.

Mother's Day

I found this week's episode of Rick Steves podcast both touching and inspiring, especially the first half. He begins with a tribute to his mother, who passed away this winter, thanking her for planting the travel seed in him. Following is an interview with Jennifer Wilson, who wrote Running Away to Home: Our Family's Journey to Croatia in Search of Who We Are, Where We Came From, and What Really Matters. I greatly look forward to reading (on my new e-reader, my awesome unexpected Mother's Day gift!)

Regardless of if we are able to move abroad at this point in our lives, planting the seed is certainly something that I hope to accomplish. Jennifer Wilson and her family took a break when her children were 4 and 7. If our kids end up being educated in the US, I do dream of taking a break when they are about middle school age and "home schooling" them on the road for a while, when they are an impressionable age. Rick Steves mentioned his first trip with his mother was when he was 14. I feel lucky that our son will be older than our daughter since, sorry boys, girls tend to be more mature at an earlier age.

My thinking is generally that James and our baby girl will learn the social things and become as prepared for middle and high school as elementary school does, but that a year seeing the world at that impressionable time would be very eye opening. Plus, it would hopefully be at a time when they are still young enough to be under our wing somewhat, but will be exercising independent thinking. When they return to their education, we can keep the option open for a more independent experience as a high school study abroad student, if they are interested.

I know many people baulk at the cost of such things, but I like how Jennifer Wilson talked about prioritizing family expenses in the interview mentioned above. Maybe I should mention, that I have been inspired by the '7-year sabbatical movement.' I have little faith that people of my generation will be getting social security, so I plan on working as long as I'm physically capable. But, I would like to take breaks at least every decade to enjoy, especially since that's about how often people of my generation are expected to change jobs, since working for the same company for life seems to be a thing of the past.

Ah, so many ways to actively/experientially inspire little ones to be global citizens - now if we can only nail down our more immediate shorter term plans!

Stay at Home Struggle

In the recent weeks, I have been a stay at home Mom. It's been pretty hard for me. Last fall semester, I had one of the best jobs I could imagine. I was teaching 3 half-days a week - mainly academic writing skills to immigrants and refugees who were starting their collegiate paths at Monroe County's Community College. It was devastating to me when the class didn't fill for spring semester. I tried to make it work, tutoring for their academic services part-time, but the hourly pay made it hard justify keeping our son James in daycare.

It's kind of ironic, I hadn't wanted to put James into daycare to begin with - I had hoped to find an evening or weekend program to teach for so that we wouldn't have to incur daycare expenses. But when the opportunity to teach the fall semester class came up, I couldn't turn it down. As it turned out, James LOVED daycare. So, when the class didn't run this spring, I was disappointed on two levels. Not only did I loose my dream job, but I was so sad to take James out of the class he loved.

So, I had to make the decision to take James out of daycare and quit work. We took advantage of the "time off" and visited my parents in Arizona for a spell, but since then we've been at home and I've been trying to keep James busy, happy and socialized, all those things he was getting at daycare. In Rochester, we are lucky to have the Strong Museum of Play, where James and I visit every week at least. I have also joined "Mommy Groups" and attend story time events at libraries, etc. While I do love spending time with my son, now 15 months old, I really miss working. Of course, being in my 3rd trimester with the baby girl doesn't help my energy level, trying to keep up with a very spirited little guy.

I meet several other moms who are so happy to have the privilege to be able to stay at home and spend time with their babies. I feel lucky too, but it's not so much that we can "afford" for me to stay home, but that it just didn't make sense to break even paying for daycare, especially with the upcoming cost of paying for two. As a teacher, we would have to pay for all of the breaks, including summer, in order to hold James' spot in daycare, even when I'm not getting paid to teach. So while I do love spending time with James, I really miss spending time at work also.

When people talk about the work-home balance, I feel like my life isn't balanced because work is missing. I will blog more about childcare options in the future, but wanted to briefly mention the options that we are looking at moving forward. I plan on being home until we move. I do have a part-time grading gig that I do from home a couple evenings and weekends. After we move, I do hope to find a job that has evening or weekend hours, which is feasible teaching working adults. However, I am open to a more 9-5 position and daycare arrangements. Since quality traditional daycare is so expensive in the US, we will likely arrange for an au pair, which is actually more affordable than paying for two children's daycare. Abroad, I understand that many places quality childcare is more available and affordable, but not everywhere. It really depends on where we land. This will be a big piece of the research when we look at opportunities various places around the world.

Intro to Obstacles

So why not just go? Why not just do it? There are a couple of main obstacles. First, there are financial concerns. Secondly, family.

Chris and I had opposite experiences paying for college. While he was able to walk away debt free thanks to the "parent plan," I have educational debt from my undergraduate degree. It's kind of like I bought a Lincoln car, but don't actually have one. Though I could refinance, I have to budget at least $500 each month for repayment. Although I could get a reasonable salary considering the cost of living many places, this is a significant burden to cover each month in US Dollars.

James flies to visit grandparents at 14 months

Another financial concern of ours is that many places we are attracted to have a high cost of living. While we may have been able to save by getting by with a studio or one bedroom in less desirable neighborhoods in our early 20's, we'll have to be pickier with a family of four with young children.

Another family of four cost to consider is the price of flying. We would plan on coming home once a year to see family and friends. While many airlines let you fly with an infant in arms until babies reach 2-years old, my experience with my big guy at six months was that he spilled into the passengers next to me. When we flew again at 14 months, he got his own seat at it was worth it! With two adults and two little ones, we figure we'll have to spring for at least 3 seats, if not four as the babies grow. Depending where we end up in the world, that could be a considerable expense, especially if we're flying over holidays.

And it should go without saying that it is hard enough for us to be away from friends and family, but it will be especially hard for the little ones and grandparents. On the other hand, our families and friends are spread out across the country (and beyond) so there is some amount we would have to budget for even if we did stay within the country.

Inspirations Past and Present

In future posts I will discuss inspirations in great detail, but wanted to introduce some of them at this time. My firsts experiences abroad were with my parents at timeshare resorts in Mexico. I later returned to Mexico through a mission trip as a high school student and saw another side to the country volunteering to build houses in the Yucatan.

Cuernavaca, Mexico

I was fortunate to receive a Congress-Bundestag Scholarship to spend my senior year of high school in Germany. It significantly altered my world view and goals. I like life abroad and wanted to experience more of the world. I attended Augsburg College in Minneapolis, Minnesota because of their Center for Global Education. Before earning my undergraduate degree in International Journalism and Peace and Global Studies, I participated in CGE programs in Namibia and Mexico. I also spent a semester in the Yunnan Province of China through SIT and finished with an experiential semester in Washington DC.

After working and meeting my husband in Washington, DC after graduation, we moved to Delaware for graduate school rather than China, as we were planning. In order to stay tried into the international community, I found a community role as a Local Coordinator through CIEE. There, I was able to work with high school exchange students who came for the semester or year in Delaware and meet like-minded families who were kind enough to open their hearts and homes.

Since relocation to Rochester, NY, I found serving as a local coordinator was difficult with no family, friend and a brand new, small professional network - not to mention I had far less time with a brand new baby! I still miss it, but feel it is not right to commit since we will be moving again in a half a year. Now, I rely on friends abroad, as well as some favorite planning websites and podcasts. A couple of my favorite travel podcasts include Amateur Traveler and Indie Travel. The most notable website is Briefcase to Backpack.

This is just a little overview of some of my inspirations, past and present. 

Moving Timeline

Our current home in Rochester, New York. Taken December 2010 a month before James was born.

We have lived in Rochester, NY since December 2010. We moved here from Delaware because my husband had a great postdoc opportunity through Rochester Institute of Technology. We were very attracted to the region, just on the north of the Finger Lakes Region, for a number of reasons. Mainly the job, but Rochester is a very diverse city, the 3rd biggest of New York, where people are very friendly.  The country and smaller towns in the region are wonderful. I find it's a big regrettable that we haven't been able to do more camping and hiking, (I've been pregnant 1/2 the time we've lived here, plus we had a little one.)

Rochester, NY is also incredibly affordable for families. While many places are hurting in this economy, Rochester seems to actually have a fair amount of good job growth, despite the current plight of the local Eastman Kodak company. Taxes are steep, but Monroe County provides a great number of services. A native Minnesotan, I still can't get over the fact that the city plows the sidewalks, even in residential neighborhoods like ours! On the flip side of high taxes are very affordable home prices. The one that we are renting might go for $250,000 to $300,000 today - and our neighborhood is full of these Victorian Era mansions. We really love the city, local culture and the charm.

When we moved here a year and a half ago, my husband signed a 2-year employment contract that could be extended for a third year. We signed a 2-year lease on the house, but have a 3-year lease on our car. We rent half the house, two bedrooms in the back, so it's going to be a bit crowded with a family of 4 (and all the baby stuff.) While it's not totally out of the question, it looks like we will be moving and finding new jobs early this winter - either in late November around the Thanksgiving holiday, or in early December 2012.

That gives us just over 200 days to figure out what to do next, network, apply, and make all of the arrangements!